Long story short, in early December my then new-to-me doctor said my most recent blood work indicated that I need to start taking a certain medication. Having read and heard (from reputable sources) about the possible complications from the medication, I resisted. She persisted — dismissing my concerns and not offering any other alternatives — and I caved.
Within 10 days, I was experiencing significant muscle weakness and pain in my upper arms and upper thighs; within a few more days very strong overall fatigue set in. At first, I thought I was just tired from my recent move (I move everything but furniture myself), but by the first week of January, I knew something was wrong and stopped taking the medication (yes, I notified my doctor).
Seven & a-half months — of debilitating muscle pain and weakness in almost every muscle from the neck down, accompanied by immense fatigue and, more recently, a persistent cough and difficulty swallowing — of me thinking I just needed time to recover from the reaction to the medication ended two weeks ago. At the urging of a dear friend, I saw a rheumatologist.
Blood work was ordered; all my the routine tests were normal. However, numerous (8 or 9) tests that indicate the presence of an autoimmune disease were “abnormal”, some with extremely high numbers. I see my rheumatologist (Dr. R, which certainly fits) again tomorrow to find out what the next step is.
I’ll be honest. Eight months now of almost every single movement (including simply sitting down) being intensely painful . . . of muscle weakness so debilitating that I often need both hands to shakily lift a cup of water . . . of fatigue beyond anything I could have imagined — well, in all honesty, it’s taken a huge physical and emotional toll.
So what is getting me through every day?
Physically I just keep putting one foot in front of the other as best I can. For good or bad, that’s always been my strategy, and I’ve fallen back on it again.
Emotionally, and at risk of over-simplifying the situation, I’m simply relying on the facts that God is with me *and* that He loves me and will work this out to the good of those who love Him (which includes me).
I still struggle — both physically and mentally, and often mightily so. But, and this is the most important thing about this entire situation, I have peace because I know Who is in charge.
Whatever you’re going through, I pray that you are finding peace and strength as well.
I hoped to write a bit more, to provide a better closing, but it has taken me over 4 hours to write this. Write a sentence or two, rest my arms for awhile, write a sentence or two, lay down for 10 minutes . . . I’m telling you, folks, this muscle pain and weakness is no laughing matter.
If you are so inclined, your prayers for a clear, quick diagnosis and a treatment plan that gets me back on track are truly appreciated.
And from a favorite author:
