I’m very excited to again this week join a talented group of women who connect each Friday in an online, unedited (so excuse all errors) flash mob free-write based on a one-word prompt from our fearless leader Kate Motaung. My timer is set for 5 minutes; let’s see where the word “offer” takes me.
Wow, Fearless-leader Kate, tough word this week. And yes, thank you, that was a shameless attempt to stall, take some seconds off the clock, and think of where I want to go with this week’s assignment.
Every day, I receive offers.
On the radio, on television, and particularly via social media. Everyone, it seems, wants to offer me a free workshop/webinar/guide or a free consultation or a free night’s stay at a lovely lake resort.
I’m sure you know what I mean.
Every one of those offers — every single one — is one thing. Each one is a sales gimmick not-so-cleverly designed as a gift.
Yes, I’ll get a free webinar, but the “giver” will receive my email. They’ll not only increase the size of their mailing list for their own purposes but, here’s the real kicker, so that they have more email addresses to sell to other companies.
I’ll get a free consultation or free night away from home, but there will be some sort hard sell somewhere along the line. I’ve been there. By the time the consultant or guy/gal at the sales presentation is 2.5 minutes into their spiel, I’m willing to give them my left arm to get out of there.
Call me a cynic, but the vast majority of offers I receive are from people who, despite their seemingly-sincere demeanors, are nothing more than fishermen, dangling out the tantalizing bait for what they hope is a gullible fish who will bite.
I know I sound “anti-offer”, but that’s simply not true.
You want me to take you up on an offer? Then offer me one of these.
Offer to clean my bathroom. I hate cleaning the bathroom. Always have; I have no doubt I always will. Small space + wet stuff = yuck!
Offer to fix my hair for me every single day. I am notoriously horrible with hair, as anyone who knows me can attest. You offer to fix my hair every day, and you have a resounding “yes” and a friend for life. Or as long as you’re fixing my hair every day.
Offer to play dominoes or cards or cribbage with me a couple of nights a week.
Offer to teach me how to knit socks or to scrapbook digitally.
Offer to take over my yard. Landscape and mow and make it lovely. Don’t expect me to know the names of any plants or gush over organic mulch. You’ll only be sorely disappointed.
Offer to go on a road trip with me. Think Thelma and Louise minus mayhem and . . . well, the ending,
which I refuse to watch.
Offer me a book contract.
Offer me a large sum of money to do absolutely nothing. Yep, I’m all over that one!
See? I’m not anti-offer!
So bring on those offers!!
Honestly, I hesitate to share this post. It’s not profound or eloquent or really much of anything. But I respect the FMF concept and will share. Because the goal of this blog is conversation (not monologue), I hope you’ll share your thoughts via a comment. Perhaps you’ll be profound or eloquent or even both!