I’m very excited to again this week join a talented group of women who connect each Friday in an online, unedited flash mob free write based on a one-word prompt from our fearless leader Kate Motaung. My timer is set for 5 minutes; let’s see where the word “comfort” takes me.
From without.
For 50+ years, that’s where I sought comfort when life was having its way with me, when I was weary from the struggle or hurting from some jab, when my carefully-organized life with it’s planner and checklists hit a snag
When I was a child, I sought — and found — comfort in books.
Eventually, though, I also sought comfort in other people. In their friendship, their company.
Books were always there, of course, and I even had favorites that I could turn to. And I did. Other people were less reliable, but still . . . I sought them, their understanding, their empathy.
But the day came, as it always does, when the outer things simply weren’t enough. Oh, they provided a temporary respite from pain or disappointment, but when I turned the last page of the book or when lunch with a friend ended and I was back home, alone, again . . .
Now you might wonder why, as a Christian, I didn’t find comfort in my faith, in God. The fact is, I didn’t try.
But then, in the span of three years, I suffered two blows, the second significantly stronger, more devastating than the first.
I needed comfort.
And I’ve finally begun to look for it not from the outside, but from within.
From my faith, yes.
But also from learning who I am, from being true to myself, from being comfortable in my own skin.
I’m a work in progress.
But the process . . . even that is a comfort.