I’m very excited again this week to join a talented group of women bloggers in an online, unedited flash mob free write. This week, the word-prompt given to us by our fearless leader Kate Motaung (whose wonderful blog can be found at katemotaung.com) is “turn”. My timer is set for 5 minutes; ready, set,

Try! I have to wonder if Kate has been peaking into my head a bit this week as she chose this word, because the issue of trying has been on my mind.

The truth is, I’m not very consistent in my trying. In some areas, I try too hard; in others, I don’t try nearly enough. In both cases, the results aren’t satisfactory.

Trying too hard has negative outcomes:

• I try too hard to understand what is, to me at least, illogical –> frustration
• I try too hard to make friends and develop a social circle –> hurt

Not trying hard enough also produces undesirable results:

• I don’t try hard enough to get into shape –> still-flabby upper arms
• I don’t try hard enough to get projects done around the house –> guilt & hidden clutter
• I don’t try hard enough to get my novel written –> aggravation with myself

Sometimes, my efforts aren’t too much or too little; at times, they are inconsistent. My spiritual life is a perfect example. Some days, I’m a spiritual trooper. Morning devotions, check. Morning quiet time, check. Jotting several things in my gratitude journal throughout the day, check. Evening Bible study, check. Evening prayer, check.

Other days? Well, suffice it to say no devotions are read, the Bible isn’t opened, I’m too whiny to be grateful, and the only prayer I can utter is “I’m tired, Lord!”

I know I’m not alone. I’m just one member of an imperfect group of people who try too hard or too little or without consistency.

I try to savor and celebrate the days when I get it right.

I try to learn from the days I don’t, forgive myself, and do better the next day.

I try . . . really, I do.